this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There r osticjed everywhere
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
