My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she peed on how many people?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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