i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
