i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
