y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
