I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
