dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
