the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize