omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
