kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
