last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
3pm strippers are depressing
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
