I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
should my penis look like a turkey
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize