Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
