you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize