that's an acceptable place to lick
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the day after is always just damage control
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
