Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
