I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
