when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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