I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my poor anus
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
