make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
