Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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