That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
