Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
