U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
