why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
