I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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