I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
