Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My vagina is officially offended.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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