i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
