Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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