I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
