it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
