It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
