He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
