Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
