so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
