You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
