: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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