We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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