I think im going to throw up on grandma
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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