Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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