I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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