is your mom at the bar?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
