Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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