Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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