Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
