Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
