She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
