I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
is that a dick in a sweater?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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