How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize