i need an iv and a liver transplant
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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