I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
