so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
