And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
